Eps. 3: The Honeymoon Phase
Episode Description
The honeymoon phase can feel like sunshine, sprinkles, and unicorn farts, until ordinary habits and unspoken assumptions begin sharing the room. Doc and Crystal look back at the shift from newlywed bliss to real married life and the expectations neither of them realized they were carrying.
What We Get Into in This Episode
The joy and anticipation of the honeymoon phase
How ordinary habits begin to test patience
The quiet shift from fantasy to real life
Expectations couples rehearse internally
Why expectations must be expressed
CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION
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Frequently Asked Questions
Why do expectations create conflict in marriage?
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How do family backgrounds affect marriage?
Family history shapes beliefs about roles, communication, money, work, conflict, affection, and responsibility. Couples can examine those patterns and intentionally choose what fits the marriage they are building.
Transcript
Hey, hey, we're back. Hi. What's happening? What's happening? What's happening? So, here we are. We back again. um, you know, beautiful marriage, beautiful marriage. um, so we were sitting here thinking, you know, just random conversation and we was thinking about, you know, the 20 years we've been married and uh kind of reflecting on how we made it 20 years and trying to go through the phases. And right now, I guess we want to just kind of kind of touch on the first phase, the quoteunquote honeymoon phase.
It ain't no quote unquote. It's it is blissful. And I don't know if you know some of y'all remember that honeymoon phase of of of rainbows and you know what's that? What you say? Sunshine sprinkles and unicorn farts. Unicorn farts. Everything. Baby, he couldn't do no wrong. She couldn't do no wrong. I couldn't wait for him to come home.
I would like pick out my outfits based on what I thought he wanted to to see or what colors he liked. I mean, I was like, "Woo!" Like 110 fast. Just like I'm Look, I'm I'm I'm buying buying flowers. I'm You bought flowers for my mom one time. Oh, yeah. Bought bought flowers for the mom. I'm I'm sending flowers to work. Ingan ain't been the same since she was like, "That's that's that's my baby." Oh, you know what? Maybe not, too. I think I think I may be misquoting.
I think Chris Rock said it best. Uh that that's your representative. So, wow. I don't know if Nana Mama Nana Ing is watching, but uh you deal with that next time you go to Houston. Yes. Yes. Yes. But that that that phase is is like you said, blissful and Yeah. putting pennies in the jar and don't take none out. Yeah, y'all have to look that up and see what that means.
Yeah, it was it was a lot. But, um I think that one of the reasons that it's so blissful is because you're finally, you know, you spend so much time anticipating, unless you alope, which is dope. Yeah. You know, you spend so much time anticipating what it's like to be married if you aspire to be married. Yeah. And um it's finally here and you're like, "Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh." And I remember I used to tell Doc all the time, I'm like, "I get to spend the night." Like, "Yes, I get to spend the night." Yes. Yeah. Without getting in trouble. Yeah.
Nobody was going to judge us. We weren't going to Mom and Mom and dad was cool. We could go to church the next day. It is what it is. um so yeah, you know, but like then something shifts and uh you don't know that it is shifting. It's not like a, you know, you kind of slide off the couch. This is like a earthquake like what is happening? Yeah. And I don't know what that is for y'all or if y'all have experience that moment where you kind of looked at him and be like, you getting on my ner get out my f you know like that first time where you just like kind of forget that you forget who you are. You like, "Oh, okay.
You want to take me back to 2003? Okay. You know what I'm saying? I don't know what that is for y'all, but I mean, what was our what was our first I honestly I don't even remember. Oh, whatever. I'mma tell y'all what he did. He used to try to murder me by leaving his shoes in the middle of the door jam in the dark and he would leave the door the cabinets open, like the drawers open. So, like I would literally be walking through like a laser maze at night trying to go to the bathroom. Okay. First, first off, I'm Listen, I'm coming, man.
I don't remember that. But, I'm coming from practice. No. And I'm just taking my shoes off where they fit. I'm tired. So, I wasn't trying to murder you, but and all that paper. Oh my gosh. Okay. What are you talking about? Well, it's fine.
But anyway, the I got I got mad because I tripped over some spikes at night trying to go to the bathroom. So ladies, what else? Just let that sit with you. What else? So anyway, I think that since you can't remember when you cuz I'm so wonderful, you can't remember when you decided that you might have been not liking me. Whatever. I'm I'm I'm sure we have time. I will think of something that will trigger y'all. You need time. But anyway, I think that what happens is you get to a point where you realize I have done a lot of thinking in my head about what I want to do with this marriage and what I think he need to be doing and what I think I need to be doing.
Yeah. And vice versa. And I don't know how much of that I done said out loud. Huh. Yeah. Yeah. So, expectations expectations were Were they expressed? Were they expressed? Yeah. If y'all ain't saying what you expect, it can't be expected.
Period. So, look. Okay. So, let's let's table that. Let's let's let's talk about expectations next time. Okay. All right. Well, look. All right, y'all. We out.
Till next time. See you. Bye.
