Eps. 6: In Sickness and in Health
Episode Description
Health crises test far more than a couple’s schedule. Doc and Crystal reflect on atrial fibrillation, an extended medical procedure, pregnancy loss, fear, caregiving, community, and what it means to honor the vow to stay present in sickness and in health.
What We Get Into in This Episode
Supporting a spouse through serious health concerns
The emotional weight carried by the caregiving spouse
Pregnancy loss and the grief couples may carry
Why community matters during a crisis
Presence, prayer, medical care, and honest support
CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION
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Frequently Asked Questions
How can I support my spouse through illness?
Be physically and emotionally present, listen, help with practical needs, and recognize that quiet companionship may matter more than finding perfect words.
Why is community important during a health crisis?
Friends and family can help with children, transportation, meals, schedules, encouragement, and other responsibilities a couple may not be able to carry alone.
How can couples cope with pregnancy loss?
The episode encourages presence, honest acknowledgment of the grief, prayer, community support, and appropriate professional care when needed.
Full Transcript
Hey, happy heart month. It is happy heart month, Black History Month. All those great things. Yes. And we were thinking like um given that it's Black History Month, it's American Heart Month, I got this beautiful black man next to me, all the wonderful and amazing men in my life whom I love dearly are black men. Uh we thought that, you know, it would be a good time to talk about what to do when you got to honor those vows that say in sickness and in health. um and we have definitely had our ring around the Mosy or what is it? Well, that I messed that up real good, huh? Uh we've been around the mberry bush a bunch of times uh with health issues and um it really it really took a toll on us to be honest. um like you with your aphib.
Yeah. I don't know if most of you guys know but I was uh diagnosed with a atrial fibrillation. Yeah. And uh kind of caught me off guard seeing that um you know exathlete if you want to call it that. And you are an ex alete. You're an Olympian. I am that I am that. Okay. So, no air quotes, right? I didn't say exly Olympian.
I said as athlete, there's a difference. Anyway, but uh that that that was a that was a scare and that was challenging uh for me to deal with. But for her, I can only imagine, you know, the things that were going through her mind at the time because I know it was not it was not easy knowing that they had to insert I think I had three incisions in my neck, my wrist, and uh eight hours and in my groin, and it was an eight hour procedure. So, um the day before his birthday, no less. um and you know, just the leadup to trying to figure out what it was. I mean, you know, I'm a little fun-sized, bite-sized human, and so my ear is perfectly placed right over his heart every time I give him a hug. And one of my most favorite things to do is just listen to his heartbeat cuz it's so strong and I don't know, it's just something that I love. And when I started noticing like hold on like your heart ain't doing the heart, it ain't doing the bump bump. It's it's doing the skip to my Lou, my darling. Yeah, it was.
Um Yeah, we went back and forth to the hospital so many times. the Grand Prairie PD, God bless them, not PD, uh the fire department, came to our house so many times and one time it actually stuck and we were able to get a diagnosis, but the stress of trying to make sure that the kids were cared for while we were spending the night in the hospital and making sure that they got to school. So shout out to our village and our friends and family who really stuck by us and helped us through that that difficult time. um you know yes we are married to one another but we have we have to have community in order for us to be successful and so that is what got us through and I mean even when I had my situation. Yeah. Yeah. So we I say we she she we have gone through through two three two and a possible two and a possible uh miscarriages and uh that was tough. That was really tough and and honestly it continues to be tough um because of the dates uh and the reminders. Uh but going through that just as a husband, how to support my wife in those situations. Again, I had to call on community.
Um and and believe it or not, she had that's when you found out more of your friends had gone through similar situations. Some things that we just don't talk about. We don't talk about health like we should. We don't talk about our struggles like we should. And you know, it this is an opportunity y'all. um you know blessings and comfort to those who are struggling to uh get pregnant, who are unable to get pregnant or desire to have children and are unable to do so. You know, our hearts go out to you. um it but it is something that is very real and that many people deal with. So, I hope if nothing else, um, one, as a spouse, you take away from this is being there, physically, being there, being willing to listen. Sometimes words aren't necessary.
Sometimes it's just a hug. Sometimes it's just being present, holding a hand. um, and lots of prayers. We believe in knee mail. Okay. K ne E mail. Yeah. um because uh we believe that our Lord is a healer and uh yes you got to take your medicine and yes you got to go to the doctor including the therapist and all those other things right he gives us community so that so that we can take care of ourselves and um you know I think that that's one big thing that we want to to take away from this conversation is just to be open y'all. You know, you not going to the doctor is not going to change. There's no wars.
Whatever the thing is, you just ignoring it. Yeah. Ain't no tro ain't no trophies cuz you didn't go. Like that's don't do that. You got to go. Take care of yourself. Take care. I guess ultimately we want to know uh in the comments, you know, have any of you couples gone through similar situations and how did you deal with those? um cuz we love to interact and get to you know again this is a community uh encouragement, love, support, all that all that. So um until next time uh we see you. Bye.
