Eps. 5: Submission
Episode Description
Doc and Crystal move beyond one-sided conversations about submission to examine both parts of the biblical call: respect and sacrificial love. They discuss what those ideas look like in real life, especially when obedience, protection, restraint, and unconditional love feel costly.
What We Get Into in This Episode
What biblical submission is and is not
Loving a spouse as Christ loved the church
Why love and respect belong together
How faith shapes marital choices
Respecting a spouse even when emotions are strong
CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION
Brutiful Essentials Brief is your free, quick-hit, four-page guide that distills each episode into the core truth, the key shifts, and the simple steps couples can use right away.
Podcast Companion Guide (Coming soon!)
Our Brutiful Marriage Podcast Companion Guide takes the most powerful themes, verbatims, and moments from our most popular episodes and turn them into practical, heart-centered tools you can use together.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does submission mean in a Christian marriage?
The episode presents submission as a willing expression of love and respect, not inferiority, humiliation, silence, or permission to mistreat a spouse.
Does submission mean one spouse has no voice?
No. The conversation rejects the idea that submission makes a spouse less worthy or requires that person to be trampled upon.
What does sacrificial love look like in marriage?
It means continuing to love through imperfect behavior and difficult seasons while treating the spouse with dignity and care.
Full Transcript
Why you always got to make a face? Hey. Hey y'all. I'm in silence. Right. Uh where did we finish off last? We were talking about expectations and then we were talking about the biblical edict for women to submit and husbands love the wife, right? And that's part of the equation that is usually not factored into the equation. You we usually just hear husband I mean wives submit to your husbands, right? And then you get a bunch of like um, side eye, side eye, side eye.
Yeah. And you know, I think the thing that people miss about submission, whether you're a woman or a man or you identify otherwise, you know, it's not about being inferior. It's not about being uh less worthy. It's not about being trampled on or downtrodden. It's like this is this is something that I've been called to do. um, and because I love this person and I'm supposed to love them unconditionally and I'm supposed to respect my husband. Yes, I agree. And and for me, I know there was a point where um we've had our disagreements, you want to call it that. And I was trying to figure out, you know, how how did God love the church, right? like what what does that mean?
Because it says, "Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church." And that's the first. Yeah, that's that's that comes first in that in that scripture order in case anybody wants to go read up on that. Yeah. So, I know I was I was trying to figure that out because I was I was dazed confused and didn't understand. I listen look dazed and confused. Listen, it listen we was it was rough for to love me. I mean, look. Okay. Look, there was some times, right? And so when I think about what that meant and I read the scripture, I still didn't get it.
And I was trying to figure out like what what does this mean, right? And then I got to thinking like, okay, I'm the church. I go to church. People are the church. People are the church. People are the church, not the building with the four walls. Yeah. But we are the church. And And the church ain't always nice. No, it we as a people are just hard to love like period.
It's just it's just really really really tough. So, and church hurt is real and referring to the four walls, right? um there are a lot of people that have been hurt by uh the church as an organization, if you will, and not as a body of people and believers. So, you know, we would be dumb to to to to not include that, but go. Yeah. No, but that's but that's where I was and I was just trying to figure out like but but anyway, it made me realize like, oh, no matter what we do as a church, as a people, he still loves us regardless of how we act. Me and my neck roll needs to be loved. And and it that neck roll I think y'all are gifted with that at birth. Hey, watch it. It just it ain't easy to to love at times, especially you you attach some vocal behind that.
It's not I'm not vocal at all. It's hard to to love. Anyway, I knew then I had to love no matter what. It's a tall order. It's a tall order. I mean, you think about the closest thing that I can get to it is if you, you know, you're blessed to have children or um of your own or to adopt children, however you become a parent, um there's nothing that those kids can do that would keep your love from them. And that's the way that Christ loves us. Yeah. And so, husbands are called to love uh their wives in the same way. and and women uh wives are expected to um submit to their husbands.
And we boil it down to love and respect, right? Respect is Keep going. No, no, it's still going. Oh, my battery was low. God, it scared me. It's okay. We're still going. Yeah. Well, loving me looks a certain way. Respecting him looks a certain way.
And um I can't be talking crazy to do that. I can't do that. I mean, I've done it before. it doesn't really work out well. um I've talked crazy to other people. And you know, and and and recently that was a cause for concern. It was because my respect for him had everything to do with what I did not say to someone else. Yeah. we we had a recent very recent situation where she um she got into a spout with I didn't get into a spout. Get it right.
Someone was out of line of of of the It was a man who was acting a fool with me over a parking spot and got out his car acting all crazy, talking crazy to me in front of my daughter. And I was like, "Black man, sir." He was like, "I'm not a black I ain't a black man. I'm a human being." I was like, "Okay, well, human being, whatever, however you identify, why are we doing this?" Okay. Okay. the point is I told I asked her if if the situation presents itself again not to not and I was like set it off not to engage because one I'm not there like I can't I can't do anything like so I'm asking you please just don't like again and I know that's that's against how you and what I'm supposed to do is respect that wish despite how I feel, despite how how warranted I feel, justified I feel, all the feelings and and that's how I respect my husband. Yeah. So, anyway, we have kept y'all long enough. Uh please comment uh questions uh how y'all think about tonight, what we said. um, I do have photo evidence of the individual in case anybody's wondering, but we won't post it. We won't.
I just want you to know that's real. That's one of my asks that you please don't post that, babe. I'm not going to do it. Anyway, we see y'all till next time. Bye. See y'all.
