Eps. 17: Kiss and make up!
Episode Description
Repair does not begin with pretending the conflict was small. It begins with naming what happened, apologizing, receiving the apology, choosing which battles truly matter, and releasing the right to keep simmering after a sincere attempt to reconnect.
What We Get Into in This Episode
Saying the hard part out loud
Why a sincere apology requires humility
Receiving an apology with grace
Choosing which battles deserve energy
Reconnecting through touch, laughter, and conversation
CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION
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Frequently Asked Questions
What makes an apology sincere?
A sincere apology names the mistake, acknowledges its impact, and accepts responsibility without avoiding the hard part.
What if my spouse does not realize they hurt me?
Explain clearly what happened and how it affected you instead of assuming the hurt should be obvious.
How do I let go after my spouse apologizes?
Receiving repair requires grace and perspective. Once genuine ownership arrives, continuing to rehearse the offense can prevent reconnection.
Transcript
So, we're being parents waiting for band concert pickup and we figure we just go ahead on and do our little thing. So, stay consistent. What we talking about? Apologizing. Kissing and making up y'all. You said what you said. I mean, so, okay. So, one time at band camp, Um, I was mad at Doc. You should not. No, that's not.
You should know. Okay. What? No, you should say one time at B count. I just I mean, why not? That's funny. That was from Anyway. um and I was and I was like really really irritated and Doc was like like chill out. Like like listen. You didn't say chill out.
I mean I didn't say chill out but it was like listen we got a good thing going. We ain't been mad at each other for a long time. like like like let's talk about it like what are we doing right now? And you know what he did y'all? He reached out and grabbed my hand like bang don't be mad at me. That is not okay. The point is that you got to say the hard part out loud and sometimes it's just like look man I'm sorry I'm I screwed up. I know I screwed up and yeah, just just listen. Understand? Just address it.
Let me tell you one more other thing. They don't know. As much as we think that they should know, as much as it happens, they don't know. Sometimes they really don't know that they done screwed up. And and as frustrating as it is, when they admit it, embrace it because it takes a lot to admit that you done done something to upset your spouse, right? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And and unfortunately, it's um it's typically on Watch it. Okay.
With what? It's mainly on y'all's side. What is on our side? Where we're doing most of the apologizing. Doc. Oh, so he wants a part two to this. That's what that is. I don't think that's true. Oh, we'll let them decide that. Oh, okay.
Well, fine, y'all. I mean, I don't have a problem saying that. I'm sorry, but I also don't screw up a lot. See, there we go. There we go. Exhibit A. Do I Do you what? Screw up a lot. you taking too long. I mean, cuz it's one of those where sometimes you may screw up, but I it's like it wasn't that big of a deal to me.
It's like, you know what? It ain't even worth it. That I mean, that's also another thing like perspective. Like, you got to pick your battles. Like, you can't be climbing climbing the Mount Everest every time, you know, you get you get a little heated, you know? Sometimes you just got to let it go. Yeah. Let it go, baby. That's part of it. Yeah.
And also, you know, being gracious, right? you gotta let the mad go when it's time to let the mad go. You can't like if you if you didn't if he didn't said I'm sorry, if you didn't said I'm sorry, you don't get to like simmer in your your your irritation, your madness. Yeah. Yeah. You got to you got to do a hug. And if you struggle with that, cut an extra hole in a t-shirt and hug it out. Both of y'all wear the same shirt and y'all got to hug it out. fixes everything. Either if you don't if you if you're not mad at each other, at least you be laughing.
You ain't lying. Looking crazy. Looking crazy. But yeah, apologizing. Yeah. Kiss and makeup. It's all good. Bye y'all. See you.
